Rainy days and Mondays

Man is it raining or what? It's so dark outside I just want to curl up and nap. Rainy days do that to me. It's a day to veg and read a book, drink hot chocolate or spiced tea. Wear fluffy socks and relax.

These days I'm wondering about change and contentment. I've had a few experiences lately that made me realize that I've changed. I think that I've reached the age where I've realized that I have a choice in how I handle change in my life and/or things that happen. I can either adopt the "it's sucks" posture or accept them and move on. Life is too short to fill my days with negativity. It's not that I don't get angry and think that things aren't fair. It's just that I can't control the things that happen. I've tried to control my life for most of my life. All I got out of that was being tired. And I realized that I actually didn't have control after all. All I can do is the best I can do. I'm not responsible for the rest of the world and their actions.

So I work my butt off and all anyone asks is for me to do more. And the person across the hall from me does nothing all day and get's labeled as indispensible. Do I like that? Heck no! Is there anything I can do about it? Other than just keep working and complaining? No there isn't. So good for them. I've discovered that if I dwell on it, I'm the only one that's miserable. And when I'm miserable no one wants to be around me. So what does it get me? Nothing.

Life isn't out to get me, I've decided. Life happens. We live in a fallen world. Sucky stuff happens. The difference comes in how I deal with it. I can do my best to correct things to make things right. But I can't force circumstances or people to be or act how I think they should. My part is to do my part. I can't and should not be responsible for anything or anyone else. At the end of the day, when I look in the mirror - I need to feel that I've done the best I could. If that is the case, then I can rest easy. No one is asking me to be perfect. No one has promised me that life would be easy and carefree.

I pray that I'll always be learning and growing. That I don't become negative. I don't want to be a pollyana. I just don't want to waste my time by living in the state of unproductive, unpopular, and unfun-negativity.

Instead of why me? Why not me? Why would I want to wish any misfortune or suckiness to go to someone else? Maybe God has made me able to withstand stuff that someone else can't. Maybe there's something for me to learn. Maybe there isn't. It just is.

Sometimes it's just a matter of perspective. I'm not a saint nor am I anywhere near perfect. I just want to live as peace-filled and joy-filled as possible. I want to laugh as much as possible. So I'm going to look up - look out - and keep that nasty attitude away. I'm sure I won't succeed at it in every situation but I'm going to try. Is anyone with me?

P.S. I'm not going to finish my Alaska blog. Too much time has passed, I think. Sorry about that. It was great though. Everyone should go and see the unspoiled vistas. Especially in light of global warming - it might not always be there.